You May Already Be A Loser T Shirt

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Category: Fashion/T-Shirts

Product: You May Already Be A Loser T Shirt

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Description: Congratulations! If you're looking at my t-shirt, you may already be a loser! To enter my sweepstakes, just take a look at my "Scratch 'N Lose" tee. If you fail to match any two items -- which I guarantee you will -- you lose! It's as simple as that. I'm so confident that you're already a loser -- in fact, you're 31 times more likely to be killed by a meteorite while sitting on the toilet than you are to not lose this game -- that if you don't lose, I'll give you this t-shirt off my back. But then I'd be the loser, so I'm not sure you'd want that! Are you confused yet? Well that's further evidence that you're a loser! We guarantee that no other t-shirt offers more ways to tell people they're a loser.

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Product: Hedonist T Shirt

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Description: Well, well, well. Looks like we got ourselves a card-carrying member of the Hedonist Party! And speaking of party, why aren't we having one right now? If it feels good, do it -- that's my philosophy! Let's start with a few words on Hedonism. Webster's defines hedonism as the doctrine that pleasure is the sole good in life. The name derives from the Greek word for "delight." The philosopher Democritus is generally credited with-- Oh my God -- snore! What is this, school? We should be eating filet mingon in shorts, or having sex while parasailing or something. This ain't exactly cuttin' it for me so I'm out. If anyone needs me, I'll be on a waterslide at a resort in Jamaica -- not giving a crap about anything outside of my utopian acropolis. Peace!

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