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Headline Shirts
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Product: Prison Logo T Shirt
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Description: The US Prison Industrial Complex is celebrating its 2.5 millionth person behind bars -- and its unchallenged status as the world's leading jailer -- with a promotional blitz. "I think I speak for all of us in the US prison system when I say, 'Up yours, Belarus and Kazakhstan -- we're number one!'" said PIC President Jerry Mingori before a crowd at the Varner Supermax in Grady, Ark. "So many folks to thank, but I'd like give a special shout out to my friends the drug war, the poor and disadvantaged, mandatory minimums, three strikes laws, crooked cops, shitty defense lawyers, public hysteria, the state of Texas, and -- most of all -- you, the apathetic public." He added that in this time of economic uncertainty, prison provides a great alternative for folks seeking a roof over their head and three square meals a day. "One out of every 100 Americans is currently enjoying our facilities, so what are you waiting for?" added Mingori.
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Product: Checks Cashed T Shirt
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Description: Responding to calls to provide financial rescue for working families and homeowners, the House passed a bill yesterday allowing the government to offer high-interest payday loans and check cashing. "We know a lot of you are wondering if you'll have money to pay the next utility bill or put food on your table," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "Well, wonder no more! Bad credit? No credit? No problem!" Then, backing away from the microphone and switching to a mumbled, hurried tone, Pelosi added, "Application and wire fees, as well as other charges, interest fees, and terms, may apply. Over void in Tennessee." When asked by a reporter why the payday loan plan would not simply worsen the problem, Pelosi noted that the government was also exploring alternatives, including federally operated pawn shops, rent-to-own centers and a special "Liquor Lover's" credit card.
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