Suspicious Packages T Shirt

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Category: Fashion/T-Shirts

Product: Suspicious Packages T Shirt

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Description: Planning to fly? Here's what to know before you go: 1. All liquids and gels (including eye drops, zit cream, hemorrhoid suppositories, scabies lotion, and all other embarrassing ointments) must be in containers no bigger than a bottle cap and placed in one of our see-through bags for all the world to see. 2. Passengers must remove shoes before entering. Passengers who do not wear shoes because shoes offend their extreme Jihadist principles may proceed as they are. (Sorry we even asked.) 3. All keys, chains, watches, pointy things, and oblong ballistic metal objects must be placed in the same plastic containers that everyone's been putting their shoes in. You can pick them up on the other side. 4. Report any suspicious or unattended packages to authorities. But please don't waste our time with "ticking" or "vibrating" packages. Nine out of ten times, that's just a cellphone or whatever.

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Product: I Heart SF T Shirt

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Description: Wait, where's my bike? I thought I parked it where that mangled tire is sitting. Huh? Nah, son, that can't be it. Wait... Maybe that is it. Oh, f**k, that's totally it! I forgot about the stupid quick-release! Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!! What do I do? Should I call 9-1-1? They must have a hotline or something for this, right? F**k dude, that was a $500 frame! How was I supposed to know that leaving it outside of Frenchy's Adult Superstore overnight was a bad idea?? What am I, psychic? All I know is, if I see some crackhead homeless dude riding around on a custom Schwinn Paramount Series 8, I'm gonna totally bum rush his ass. Mark my words, dude.

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